7 Things To Remember When You Think You’re Not Good Enough
Have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough and no matter what you did, you would never be good enough? Do you sometimes think bad things about yourself that ruin your own self-esteem?Sad to say, what you’re feeling now is something all of us have experienced in our lives. We all ask ourselves if we’re good enough, and most of the time, we feel that we aren’t.
Modern day society puts a lot of pressure on us to succeed. In a world where everyone else’s success and accomplishment is on full-display, it’s easy to feel like inadequate if you’re not in a committed relationship, aren’t making a certain amount of money, don’t have that many friends or connections, and so on.
We set so many goals and expectations for ourselves that, more often than not, we just end up having our self-esteem torn down by our own inner critic. We beat ourselves up over the tiniest things and waste so much time worrying about things that don’t really matter. We can be relentlessly cruel and unforgiving towards ourselves when we feel that we aren’t doing enough, achieving enough, or being good enough for other people.
With that said, here are 7 things you should keep in mind when you’re feeling down about yourself and questioning your own self-worth:
1. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side
They say comparison is the root of all unhappiness, and it’s hard to argue with that kind of logic. After all, there’s always going to be someone out there who’s happier, richer, smarter, more attractive, or more successful than us, so we can’t help but feel envious. However, constantly comparing ourselves to others makes us lose sight of all the wonderful things we have in our lives and in ourselves, and in doing so, we become more ungrateful and unhappier than we were. Keep in mind that the people you compare yourself to compare themselves to other people, too.
2. Your thoughts aren’t your reality
In a lot of ways, we can be our own worst enemies, especially when we talk down to ourselves and let our doubts and insecurities get the better of us. We all have cruel and discouraging thoughts from time to time, but it’s important to remember that, at the end of the day, they’re just thoughts. They don’t have to define your reality and change the way you feel about yourself unless you let them. Don’t be so quick to believe everything you think when you feel down and lonely.
3. Your worst traits and mistakes don’t define you
Perfectionism, self-acceptance, self-love, and compassion towards ourselves — these are all things most of us struggle with throughout our lives. It can be difficult to feel like you’re good enough when you’re so aware of all your flaws and imperfections, but you need to remind yourself that your worst traits and mistakes don’t define you. Be kind to yourself and celebrate all your best qualities. Because even on your worst days, there is always more right than wrong with you, and that should be enough.
4. Focus on progress, not perfection
It’s okay to be a work in progress; everyone is. There’s no rule that says you have to have everything figured out right now, so learn to appreciate your progress and let go of your need for perfection. Every step forward is a step closer to your goals. You may still have a long way to go, but look at how far you’ve come! For that alone, you should feel proud of yourself. Learn to make the most of where you are right now and remember that the best things in life take time.
5. We accept the love we think we deserve
Famous author Stephen Chbosky said it best when he wrote: “We accept the love we think we deserve.” It would do you good to remember those words next time you’re wallowing in self-doubt and self-pity. We all get upset with ourselves sometimes, but no matter how angry or ashamed you may feel, you should never let it stop you from accepting the kindness and compassion of others. Oftentimes, it’s when we feel like we deserve it the least that we need love the most.
6. Sometimes, all that matters is the here and now
There are so many people out there who get so hung up on their pasts that they become unable to move forward in life; and still, there are those who let their anxiety and anticipation of the future keep them from enjoying the present. But the truth is, sometimes, all that matters is the here and now. Live in the moment more and you’ll be all the happier for it. Being more mindful of your present brings a certain peace of mind that you will never get from wasting all your time fretting over the past or the future.
7. Practice self-love, not self-defeat
Finally, but perhaps, most importantly, remember to practice self-love instead of self-defeat when you’re feeling bad about yourself. Telling yourself you’re such a worthless failure won’t bring you any success. Pitying yourself for not being able to achieve all your goals and aspirations won’t help them come true. Because hating yourself won’t make you feel any better; it will only make you feel worse. Allow yourself the freedom to feel scared, unsure, and uncomfortable sometimes, and know that you will succeed in spite of all these things. When you love yourself and believe in yourself enough, there’s no doubt that you can do anything you set your mind to.